Couples Counselling: A Path Toward Connection and Change

By Nakita Jangra

Relationships are at the heart of our emotional lives. When they thrive, we feel secure, connected, and supported. When they falter, the impact can reverberate through every area of our lives. As a psychotherapist working with couples, I often meet people at a point where they feel stuck, disheartened, or even on the brink of separation. Yet, it is precisely in these moments of difficulty that the opportunity for meaningful change often lies.

The Relational Lens

My approach to couples work is rooted in a relational framework. Rather than locating the problem within one individual or another, we look together at the patterns that have emerged between you—those repetitive cycles of interaction that may have once served a purpose but are now creating distance, misunderstanding, or conflict.

From a relational perspective, the relationship itself becomes the client. We focus not only on what is being said, but how it is being said, and what is not being said at all. Emotions such as anger, fear, and longing often lie beneath the surface of a couple’s dynamic, waiting to be acknowledged and understood.

Why Couples Counselling?

Couples seek therapy for a wide range of reasons: communication breakdowns, infidelity, intimacy issues, parenting challenges, life transitions, or simply a growing sense of disconnection. But behind these issues is often a deeper question—Are we still emotionally accessible, responsive, and engaged with one another?

Research, particularly from attachment theory and emotionally focused therapy (EFT), supports the idea that secure, responsive emotional bonds are fundamental to healthy adult relationships. When those bonds are threatened, even subtly, partners may protest through criticism, withdrawal, defensiveness, or silence. In therapy, we work to bring awareness to these protective strategies and the vulnerable needs they often mask.

The Process of Therapy

Couples counselling is not about assigning blame or deciding who is right. Rather, it’s a collaborative process that involves slowing down conversations, unpacking emotional undercurrents, and co-creating new ways of relating. As your therapist, I facilitate dialogue, offer reflections, and help both partners explore their emotional landscapes with curiosity rather than judgment.

Often, the work involves revisiting old wounds—sometimes from the relationship itself, and sometimes from earlier experiences that are being reenacted in the present. Therapy offers a space where these can be processed safely, allowing for repair and reconnection.

Expectations and Commitment

It’s important to know that couples counselling is not a quick fix. It takes courage to face painful dynamics and vulnerability to show up authentically. There may be moments of discomfort, but also profound moments of clarity and closeness. The goal is not perfection, but a more conscious, compassionate way of being with each other.

For some couples, therapy helps restore a sense of intimacy and trust. For others, it may clarify that the relationship is no longer sustainable. In either case, the process can foster deeper self-awareness and emotional growth that benefits both individuals moving forward.

Final Thoughts

At its core, couples counselling is an invitation—to listen more deeply, to understand more fully, and to risk being seen and known by one another. Whether you’re in crisis or simply feeling disconnected, reaching out for support is a meaningful step. The therapeutic space can hold the complexity of your relationship, offering not just insight, but the possibility of transformation.

Nakita Jangra

(MBACP, BACP Reg, BPS, Psychology BSc Hons)

Tel: +44 (0) 74604 89123

www.nakitacounselling.com

Twitter: @NakitaCounsell1

LinkedIn: Nakita Jangra